Defying the Norms with My Partner

I'm in my early 20s and have been seeing Sarah for about two years now. We've got a good thing going, but lately I've felt this urge to explore something more intense. A few weeks ago, we were at her place and there was this moment when everything seemed right. The mood was charged, the lights were low, and it just felt like anything could happen. So, without really planning it, I suggested a little CNC roleplay that I'd been thinking about for a while. She froze up, clearly uncomfortable with the idea. It's not her thing at all. But even though she said no and we had to talk it through, there was this part of me that still feels rebellious about it. Part of me wonders if maybe, just maybe, I should push harder next time or find a way to sneak it in when she isn't looking. It's a weird feeling, wanting something your partner doesn't, but at the same time, not really caring what they think about it.