A Secret From My Youth

I've always been proud of how I've lived my life, but there's one thing from my past that still haunts me. When I was in my early 30s and just beginning to settle into a comfortable routine, I met someone online who intrigued me deeply. We started talking about our fantasies and eventually agreed on something taboo, a consensual roleplay where he pretended to be younger than me. It felt liberating at the time but now, as I approach my 50s, it leaves me feeling old and ashamed. Can anyone relate? How do others move past such experiences?