Caught Between Love and Lust

So I did it again, cheated on the man who’s been my rock through so much. He’s in his forties now, has gray at the temples and a kind face that always makes me feel safe. But then there's Alex. He’s younger, wilder, and our first time was like fireworks going off inside me. We started out with messages late at night, secret calls under my breath when my husband thought I was sleeping. One day, in his office during lunch break, we just... happened. Our hands couldn't stop touching, our lips meeting behind a closed door where no one could see us. And now? Well, now it’s all over again, and honestly? I don’t think I can give up the rush of sneaking around for anything. What does that say about me?