Unexpected Pleasure in Solitude

I recently got divorced and haven't really been ready to jump back into dating or anything like that. One day, I was feeling particularly lonely and decided to explore a side of myself that I hadn't before. I found this little toy shop online and ordered something I'd never tried before, a full body harness with a built-in dildo and vibrator. It arrived quietly one evening, and despite my initial embarrassment at even having such an order, the idea of giving myself pleasure alone became less daunting and more intriguing. I set up in bed that night, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as I put on the harness for the first time. The sensation was overwhelming, both mentally and physically, but it quickly turned into something far more comforting than I expected. It felt like a release from my current state of life and perhaps also from all the baggage that comes with relationships. This experience left me questioning what I truly need right now, whether it's in bed or out looking for company again.