Sometimes I Feel Invisible

I'm in my early 30s and have been dating Alex for over three years. We've always had an open relationship, but lately it feels like no matter how many connections or commitments I make outside of our bond, I still can't shake the feeling that everyone else's choices are more valid than mine. A few weeks ago, I met someone new who really sparked something in me, and we decided to explore what could be between us. It wasn't anything graphic or explicit, just conversations, coffee dates, a bit of touchy-feely stuff that felt so alive compared to the dull routine with Alex. But when I brought it up, he dismissed my excitement as a phase or a distraction from our 'real' relationship. That night, when we were supposed to be intimate together, I found myself drifting away. It wasn't because I didn't want him anymore; I just wanted to feel seen and heard beyond the confines of what we'd agreed upon years ago. Now, it feels like no matter where my heart wanders or who I find interest in, I'm still stuck inside a bubble labeled 'Alex's girlfriend'.