Just Another One Night Stand?

I never thought I'd end up here. A few weeks ago, everything seemed so stable with my ex-girlfriend, but then it all fell apart. We broke up and the breakup hit me hard; emotionally drained, I decided to distract myself with a night out. It wasn't difficult to find someone willing to talk and share drinks, and eventually the conversation turned more intimate. She was attractive and kind, and before I knew it, we were heading back to her place. The moment we stepped inside, there was no turning back. The air felt electric with anticipation, but as soon as our clothes started coming off, a wave of shame hit me. This wasn't about love or even lust anymore; it was just another way to avoid feeling the pain of losing someone I cared deeply for. When everything was over and she offered comfort, all I could do was nod silently, too lost in my own thoughts to respond properly. I know people say it's okay to be there for yourself, but this feels like something else. It's hard to shake off the feeling that I let someone down, myself included.