The Lie That Wasn't A Lie At All

I'm a software engineer, and like most of my coworkers, I work long hours. One day last year, my best friend from college, Rachel, called me out of the blue saying she was in town for a week and wanted to grab lunch or dinner. But I already had plans that night with some colleagues and wasn't sure when exactly I'd have free time during the week. Rachel mentioned how she hadn't seen her own parents since last Thanksgiving and she felt bad about it, but she said there was no way for her to get off work in New York to come out to visit them. She asked me if she could crash at my place one night while she visited, so she wouldn't have a long commute back each day. I thought this would be great, but I also knew that Monday morning was when our team had an important meeting and I couldn't possibly miss it or risk being late. So instead of saying I didn't know when I'd be free, I told her the apartment wouldn't work for her since my parents were flying in to visit me that weekend. It felt like such a little white lie at the time. But now, days later, every single moment of that week I spent not seeing Rachel feels heavy and guilty. I know it was just about making plans fit with my own busy schedule, but there's something about saying those words that made me feel like I'd lied to someone who trusted me completely. And here we are now, she’s back in New York without having seen her folks or spending any time here at all. Was I wrong for not wanting to rearrange my already packed schedule? Did the lie really matter in the grand scheme of things, when it was just a technicality to save face and avoid being asked uncomfortable questions? Maybe someday she'll forgive me. Or maybe this is one of those memories that only ends up weighing on me alone.