another night at work...

i was working late again last night and my fiancé messaged me asking if i wanted company tonight. we've been talking about trying out some new stuff but being super busy i havent had the time or chance to bring it up. i thought maybe now would be a good time since he offered. we planned on doing something easy at first, maybe just a light roleplay session where hes my customer and im his bartender, but then things got more intense than expected. we ended up trying out some leather restraints for the first time, which was surprisingly arousing for both of us. i felt bad leaving work early though because i knew it would stress my coworkers who had to cover for me. so i stayed until midnight before heading back to our place. but on the way there we ran into a friend and stopped at his place for drinks. we got pretty wasted, which made everything feel even more intense. when we finally got home i felt torn - part of me was excited about all this new territory hes willing to explore with me. another part worried it might be a mistake since its been months since we've actually had a chance to try something different together. i dont want him thinking im pushing too hard or that im not respecting his boundaries. i just hope everything turns out okay and we can talk more about our desires and comfort levels going forward. i care a lot about where this is all headed, but i also wanna make sure hes feeling good about it too.