Why Am I The Asshole For Experimenting With A Dildo?

I've been married to Mary for thirty years. She's always been the adventurous type, trying out new toys and techniques in bed. But last week, I did something different that has me second-guessing everything. Mary was away on a business trip for a few days, leaving me alone at home. I decided to experiment with some of her sex toys while thinking about what we could do together when she got back. Specifically, I used one of the dildos, something we've never tried before and definitely not as a solo activity. I wasn't planning on telling Mary anything had happened until after she was home and comfortable, but then we were discussing ideas for our next date night, and I couldn’t help myself. I blurted out how much fun I'd had with her dildo while thinking of us together. She went from intrigued to annoyed real quick. 'Mark,' she said sternly, 'Why would you do that without me? We always have a shared experience, not solo stuff.' I tried explaining it was just for my own personal pleasure, but that didn't help much either. Now we're arguing about trust and boundaries in ways we never did before. Was I wrong to explore something alone when she’s so open-minded with toys and techniques? Is this really an issue of our communication breaking down or is there more going on here? She's said it would be fine if I used the dildo again but only as a shared experience. But what about the thrill of solo exploration, which has always felt healthy for me? So, am I really the asshole for trying something new alone when we've done so much together already? What do you think?