The Loneliness of Staying Home Alone

I haven't been in a relationship for two years now. I moved out to be a stay-at-home parent and take care of my kids full-time after we split up with their dad. The house is quiet, the days are long...and I've started feeling really lonely, ya know? Sometimes it's just too much being alone all day and night. So this one time...I was at the grocery store getting some late-night snacks. A guy from work walked in, he’s single too. We flirted a little bit. I went back home with an idea bubbling up inside of me, something I hadn't thought about doing before but felt like maybe it would be okay for this moment... I sent him a message on the way back and invited him over for a sleepover...not exactly what you'd expect after having kids at home. But my kids were asleep and my husband's car was parked out front so we could pretend he still lived here if anyone looked inside. When he got there, I kissed him deeply right away. We took off each other’s clothes and it felt good to be touched again...but also wrong somehow. It wasn't just the physical space or us being careful not to wake my kids. There was something deeper in me that made everything feel strange yet familiar. We had sex on my bed, which used to be where I made love with my ex-husband. It felt too close to what once was...but there was no connection left between us and him. Only a physical act without any real emotional intimacy. Afterwards, we just laid there in the dark for a long time. The space between us seemed bigger than ever before. And I started feeling even more alone than before he came over... I guess I'm wondering...is it normal to feel like this after? To be attracted to someone else but still have these lingering feelings from your past life? It's been months since then and the loneliness is still there, no matter who I end up with or how we connect. So tell me, am I just being an asshole for wanting something more than just a hookup while still carrying my old life inside of me? Does this mean anything at all...or is it just another sign that I'm not ready yet? ...