A Lie I Told Myself

I thought I was okay being single, really. But there's this thing that happened last week that got me thinking. You know when you need to go grocery shopping and it's raining out? Well, I saw a tweet about a new kind of ice cream flavor, but then I remembered I had promised myself I wouldn't buy any more ice cream because the freezer was full. But I really wanted it... So what did I do? Instead of going for groceries like I needed to, I drove to this tiny convenience store right around the corner from work and bought a pint of that new flavor. And then, just to justify it to myself, I told everyone at home that my car broke down on the way back and I had to walk three miles in the rain, all while holding onto that ice cream like it was gold. It felt better lying about walking miles than admitting I skipped buying other groceries I actually needed because of some silly treat. Now every time I open the freezer door, I feel a little guilty for choosing my sweet tooth over being responsible. But here's what's really weird: even though this lie was so small and mostly about ice cream (and yes, it sounds kind of silly when you put it like that), there's something in me that can't help but wish things were different. Like, I wonder if I ever will find someone who'll make the freezer decisions a bit easier...