A Deployment's Secret Comforts

I've been a military spouse for almost five years now. My husband left on deployment about two months ago and it's been harder than I thought to handle my independence, the quiet, and the loneliness. We had talked about taking this time apart as an opportunity to grow individually but... reality hit me pretty hard. I've always seen myself as a private person, especially in matters of intimacy and sexuality. But when he left, something inside me shifted, and I found myself craving more than just emails or video calls, I wanted connection, comfort, anything that made me feel less alone in this big, silent house. That's when I met Alex at one of the military support groups for spouses and kids. We struck up a conversation about our experiences and frustrations during deployments, and it turned out we had similar needs. At first, it was just talking, sharing stories, and offering mutual support, but as weeks went by, things started to change. We both acknowledged that this wasn't going to be the same type of relationship either of us would have with our partners or future spouses. It felt more like a coping mechanism than anything romantic, but it was clear we were exploring boundaries together and finding ways to fill each other's voids during this time. What started as comfort conversations turned into something more intimate without ever becoming physical, until one night after months of building trust in the virtual space, we crossed an invisible line. It wasn't like either of us needed a reminder that what we were doing was risky and potentially damaging when he came back, but sometimes you have to live a little even when it feels wrong. Now here's where things get complicated: I'm not sure how I feel anymore. Is this normal? Am I the asshole for finding comfort elsewhere while my husband is away? Does Alex feel the same way about what we've done? I want to be strong and independent, but the reality is that it's hard out here on our own. Any advice would be appreciated.