After The Fall

I’ve been single for about a week now after being in a relationship for over five years. It feels so strange, this sudden quietness and emptiness where there used to be warmth. We decided it wasn’t working out anymore, and honestly, I think we both knew deep down it had been that way for a while, but neither of us wanted to admit it. The last week has felt like a long dream, a bit surreal, trying to adjust to the absence of someone who was always there. Anyway, so last night, after everything settled in and I realized this chapter is officially over, I found myself wandering around the house at midnight, staring into my phone with no real direction. That’s when it happened. The memories started flooding back; us cuddling on the couch late at night, our shared fantasies that we never quite brought to life because of fear or maybe just shyness. And then, I remember one time in particular where we were both a bit drunk and daring each other to try something new. We ended up trying this role-play scenario, CNC, as you might call it, and while it was initially terrifying, the freedom we felt afterwards was exhilarating. But now thinking back on that night, there’s an ache because I wonder if things could have been different. Do any of you out there ever wish your partner would’ve taken a chance with something like that? Or is it just me second-guessing my whole relationship history?