Well This Is a Thing That Happened

So I just got out of a long-term relationship last week. We were engaged for about a year and then decided to call it quits, mainly because we both had grown apart and our future visions weren't aligning anymore. It's weird how the mind works sometimes. One day you're in love with someone so much that you want to build your entire life around them, and the next thing you know, you can't stand to be within ten feet of each other. Anyway, so I've been pretty busy since then with work and catching up on my own hobbies, but it's hard not to feel like a ghost when all these reminders are still around. My phone is still full of photos of us together, our names are on the same apps, even my clothes smell familiar. It's exhausting. But I guess I wanted to confess something that happened right after we split up. You know how you just want to get it out there and be done with everything? That's what I did. I went straight from being engaged to... well, you could say I went the other way on my first night solo again. I mean, don't get me wrong, there was nothing like that in our relationship before we broke up. We were very traditional and monogamous about everything. But after it ended, I felt this weird urge, almost as if I wanted to erase all these memories of being together by doing something completely different. So I booked a room at a hotel, called an escort service (yes, that's not something I thought I'd do), and went through with it. It wasn't about finding another romantic connection or even really exploring anything new; it was more like an act to say goodbye to the person I used to be. Which sounds so cliché when I think about it now. But there you have it, that's what happened after everything fell apart.