When Being the Parent Isn't Enough Anymore

So I'm married with two kids under five and basically spend my life in this house. No one expects me to get off, but sometimes you do right? And tonight was one of those nights where my wife was out at her mom's for a couple hours, and it hit me that she might not be home for another hour after dinner. Alone time with no distractions? I decided I would indulge myself. I had some fantasies to play out and there's nothing wrong with enjoying them solo in the privacy of my own home, right? So I laid down on the bed in just my boxers, got a couple pillows propped up against the headboard, closed the curtains for darkness, and started touching myself. I closed my eyes and imagined it was her, but then thought why not make it more fun by thinking of someone else, someone like the hot yoga teacher I always notice around town. She's in her late twenties, really athletic build with that lean yogi look you can't help but admire. And so there I am on our bed, imagining she's there too and reaching down to grab my cock while stroking it with just the right amount of pressure. I got a little lost in the moment then - the fantasy took over completely. My hand moved faster, squeezing harder around my shaft as I imagined her mouth taking me in deep, sucking me off until I was dripping pre-cum all over her face from how turned on she'd make me. And of course what followed was graphic and explicit as you can imagine - fingers moving back and forth, imagining a tongue lapping at every inch, the buildup to release that has you seeing stars with pure pleasure until finally climaxing hard against my hand. Afterwards I lay there catching my breath and just felt dirty somehow for having such thoughts while she was gone. Maybe it's just part of being human, but tonight really hit me - I need more in my life than what we have right now. It's not that we don't have sex, we do - but this is different, a release that needs to happen sometimes when you're alone too. So here I am sharing that for whatever it’s worth.