Wife's New Kink and My Struggle

My name is Rachel, and I'm the spouse of a military man currently serving overseas. We're in an open relationship, but it took a lot for me to accept that and come around to feeling comfortable with it. It wasn't easy at first, dealing with my insecurities and doubts about his fidelity and trustworthiness when he's gone so much. Lately though, something feels off. I know the deal, I agreed to give him space in our relationship while still remaining faithful myself, but lately, I've found out that he’s engaging in some online BDSM activities with others on webcam. Not that it’s a violation of our arrangement; we’re both adults and consent is always there. But something about his involvement with this particular woman has gotten to me. She's younger than us, in her twenties, and she plays the role of an inexperienced, nervous virgin who doesn't know much about sex or pleasure. I've seen videos where he acts out being a reassuring teacher, guiding her through experiences for the first time, which sounds like vanilla stuff on its surface, but there’s something unsettling about it when my imagination fills in the blanks. The thing is, these sessions are all consensual, and I know they're not real life. But part of me wonders if this roleplay will affect how he treats me once we reunite. It's not like we've never tried new things or played with power dynamics before, but for some reason, the idea of him treating me as if I were one of these virgins in his stories just...it bothers me a lot. I feel silly admitting it; after all, this is still play and he hasn't ever acted out those scenarios with me. But deep down, there's fear and insecurity about feeling inadequate or not being enough for him anymore compared to the fantasies he indulges while I wait here alone at home.