A Lie to Myself and My Wife

I’ve been holding onto a tiny lie for months now. It’s nothing huge or scandalous; I just told my wife that the reason we didn’t see our old friend Sarah at her mother’s funeral was because she couldn't make it, which isn’t true. The real story is that I made up an excuse to avoid seeing someone who still makes me feel guilty about past mistakes. We’ve all moved on and are doing well now, but something inside me clings to a feeling of betrayal even though there’s nothing for my wife or Sarah to actually be upset over anymore. I thought avoiding her might protect us both from unnecessary tension, but the longer it goes on, the more I feel like an impostor. I’ve been thinking about just telling my wife and making amends by apologizing properly to Sarah, even though the last thing I want is for anyone else to know this lie has been a burden. Maybe admitting this small dishonesty will be healthier than keeping up with it.