When My Husband Was Away... I Let Someone In

I never thought this would happen. I’m a military spouse, married to a man who’s been through more than most in his career. We’ve had our ups and downs, but mostly we’ve managed to keep things stable despite his deployments and constant moving. When he got deployed last month for another six months, I felt lost at first. The house was too quiet, the routine was broken. Then one day, after a particularly lonely evening of just watching TV by myself, my phone rang. It was Mark from next door, he’s single, always trying to help out with whatever is needed around here while the rest of us adjust. We chatted about small stuff, how I was doing alone, some light house repairs that were needed, but he seemed like he wanted more. I started seeing him more when my husband wasn’t around; just coffee talks in his backyard or drinks at his place on weekends. Things got comfortable and casual between us quickly. Before long, we started sharing secrets, mine about the stress of being alone for so long, his about a difficult past that he’d never really spoken much about before. One night, as I left Mark’s after another heart-to-heart session, my hand brushed against his while I was putting on my coat and the spark I felt from it, it was like something snapped inside me. This wasn’t just friendship anymore. It shouldn’t be, but there we were, alone in his apartment, and he made a move. It started slowly, with just hugs and soft kisses by the front door as if to make sure no one would see us through the windows. But then one night it got too intense, I ended up sleeping on his couch after everything had happened between us. I’ve stayed away ever since, terrified that my husband will find out what happened while he was gone. This isn’t who I am or who we are. How could this have happened?