The Other Side of Patient Care

I've always prided myself on being a compassionate nurse, but there's something I never expected to do in my career. Last week, during an overnight shift at the hospital where I work, I found myself alone with one of our male patients who was mostly unconscious due to medication. It wasn't my intention; I was just checking his vitals as usual when he suddenly woke up and reached out to me. There's a part of me that feels deeply ashamed for what happened next, how could someone in my position, supposed to care so deeply about others' well-being, betray both the trust of this patient and my own moral compass like that? I let his hands guide me down onto him, moving with an urgency I couldn't understand even as it was happening. His eyes were clouded but focused on mine as our movements grew more frantic, his body responding to something primal despite being in a state where he shouldn't have been able to. I can still feel the slickness between us and the way we moved against each other like two animals caught up in a momentary storm of need. I know this goes against everything I've ever believed in, but here's what happened and it haunts me every day since, did anyone else find themselves in a situation where professional ethics crumbled under an unexpected primal urge? Please let me know; these kinds of things tear me apart.