my biggest secret

i met this girl online and we hit it off instantly, she was smart funny and wilder than me in a way that kinda scared and excited me at the same time. we started talking more and more and before i knew it i had asked her to come over for a weekend visit. the sex was intense, rough and feral, i felt like a completely different person in bed with her, something i never show to my real partner. it was the first and last time but now every time we’re intimate with each other i can’t help thinking about that weekend, those hands and mouth on me, the way she took control and owned me. i feel so guilty for even wanting to, let alone actually doing it, but sometimes in bed alone i close my eyes and imagine her again, how rough she was, all the dirty talk, the sound of our bodies slapping together. i know i should be over it by now but i just can’t forget that weekend with her.