Been Hooked on Bondage

I got out of my last relationship two weeks ago, and I've been feeling this weird pull towards something I never really explored before. My ex wasn't into it, to say the least, so now here I am, alone in my apartment with a pile of ropes and leather restraints I bought on a whim. Last night, after tossing and turning for hours, I finally caved. Pulled out all the gear, laid out some towels just in case, and set up a kind of makeshift rig using one of those metal folding chairs from IKEA. Hooked myself to it, blindfolded, and started experimenting with how tight or loose different restraints felt. One moment I was enjoying being bound by my wrists behind my back, the next I had all four limbs secured in some pretty intense-looking leather cuffs. Felt...strange but also kinda exhilarating. It's like every little touch becomes amplified when you're at someone else's mercy, or is it yourself?, like that. Played with pushing myself to the limit, finding the point where discomfort turns into pleasure. End up coming harder than I have in months, and yeah, a bit of blood from some too-tight restraints, but also left feeling oddly empty, wanting more even though I was spent. Gotta figure out next time how to better channel this energy.