Caught Myself Blushing in the Mirror

I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, and I caught myself blushing. Not because of something I did or saw, but just like... I don't know, maybe I felt vulnerable? It's been a long time since I've felt so exposed, and it scared me a bit. I'm 35 now, married to my high school sweetheart, and we're engaged to be married. But lately, I've started questioning everything about myself. I've always known I was different from other girls growing up, but only recently did I feel like coming out as trans might make me feel more at peace with who I am. My partner knows I'm transitioning, and he's been supportive since the start, but there are still moments when I wonder if I made a mistake telling him. Today, I was at the store getting some makeup for my engagement photoshoot, something light and soft to bring out my eyes and skin tone. As I reached for the foundation, I looked down at the price tags, they were way more expensive than I remembered. And then, suddenly, there it was again: that blush. I walked home thinking about all this, about how much money goes into making myself look a certain way now. About how even my partner's parents hinted that maybe this whole transition is just superficial or vain. But you know what? They're wrong. I'm not doing this for them, and definitely not to please anyone else but me. And if blushing while thinking about makeup makes me seem girly in their eyes, too bad. It feels good to finally be owning who I am, flaws and all. So yeah, maybe I feel weird sometimes, but so what? Maybe it's just growing pains of finding myself fully now that I'm an adult. And if people think less of me because of it... well, screw them. I know who I am, and I’m sticking to it.