i did something terrible

so i have this friend, jenna. we've been friends since grad school, maybe five years now? i dont know how to explain it but one day she comes over and shes all drunk like its 3am and there's ice on the floor from her vodka bottle that shattered in my entryway... and then suddenly she starts making these noises, whimpers really, and says 'i want you to do me' in this desperate whisper. i just freeze for a moment cause what am i supposed to say to that? it wasnt like we had flirted or anything, ever. so there's this awkward beat where we both stand there, me with my mouth open and her shifting uncomfortably looking down at the floor. then i think i feel this weird kind of pressure building in my chest cause all these thoughts just hit me quickfire style - dont do it you idiot, but why not? is she asking for help or something like that, is this a mistake, what if someone finds out, but also how am i supposed to say no when she's practically begging... and then before i even know what im doing my hand slides up her thigh under the dress, she gasps and i feel her body go rigid but then relax into it and its like something opens inside me. i keep touching her, pushing her bra straps down and undoing her bra buttons one by one until her breasts are bare in front of me and she looks at me with these big scared eyes... i kiss her neck and shoulder blades while my other hand finds her clit and starts rubbing it hard and fast, she whimpers louder and i can see the way her body trembles. i slide two fingers into her, its so wet its like shes been thinking about this for a long time... we end up having this intense session on the floor where everything falls away from us except this raw need to touch each other and i dont even know what's happening anymore or if she'll be mad at me tomorrow but in that moment it feels like we both needed something desperately. afterwards shes quiet, just lays there with her eyes closed while im still breathing hard and a little panicked... the next day when we see each other again its this weird mixture of awkwardness and tension and i dont know what to say or do and its driving me crazy trying to figure it out.