Can't Share My Kink with My Partner

I've been married to Sarah for three years now. We have a good life and we love each other deeply. However, there's something that I've kept from her because I know it might upset our relationship. It started when I discovered this particular kink while reading online forums a few months ago, wearing women’s clothes. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not about cross-dressing in the traditional sense. The appeal is more in feeling feminine and vulnerable, rather than being an actual woman. When I told Sarah about it, she was taken aback, to say the least. She’s supportive of me exploring my interests as long as they don’t harm anyone, but this one feels like a step too far for her. It's just such a small part of who I am, maybe once every few months at most. But when we talked about it, she said that even if I'm okay with it, it still doesn't mean our marriage needs to include it. It’s not something I want to do around other people, and honestly, it's embarrassing enough just thinking about doing it in private while she could be right outside the door. I feel like such a fraud sometimes. Here we are, living this seemingly perfect life together, but there’s this one thing that feels so isolated from everything else. I can’t even talk to her about it openly without feeling ashamed and worried about how she’ll react. It's frustrating because I know Sarah loves me for who I am, and a lot of my other interests and quirks are accepted with grace. But I’ve never felt this way before, I guess the idea of trying out something new can be scary even when you’re married to someone supportive. I've been working on accepting that it’s okay not to share everything with her, but it still feels like a big secret. The kink isn't about her or about us, it's really just about me and exploring an aspect of myself. I feel stuck between wanting to honor my wife’s feelings and my own desire for self-discovery in this area. It's lonely carrying around this secret, wondering if she'll ever understand, or if we can bridge the gap together.