The Rationalization Behind Infidelity

My fiancé is deployed right now, and I've been home alone for months. We're military folks so distance isn't unusual; still, it gets to you after a while without that physical touch or even just the daily banter. One night, after weeks of this isolation, I had dinner with an old friend from college... and everything snowballed from there. It felt like an odd mix of loneliness and excitement, I hadn't really connected in such a way in ages. He listened to me talk about my fiancé's work overseas without judgment or the need for constant reassurance that I wasn't cheating. When we parted ways, it was with a hug... but something lingered between us. The next few times we met, things escalated beyond just friendly chats; there were touches and caresses until finally one night led to more than either of us thought would ever happen. Afterward, however, everything felt hollow, I knew my fiancé would be upset if he found out but also couldn't help wondering why it mattered so much when she wasn't around anyway. So here's the confession: It was a mistake borne out of a sense of freedom that came with her absence and loneliness feeding into an old friendship. But now, I'm left questioning what this means for my fiancé and me.