just another night out

so i’m this college student right and my partner we’ve been together for like a year or two now? and stuff’s chill but like there are these things that happen in my head all the time. like it wasn’t just random, i kinda planned this one night when we were going out to this bar and everything. so we get here and its busy and loud, got some drinks. then i just look around and see these guys talking together laughing and suddenly there’s this one guy i can’t stop looking at. he’s older than me but not by much. dark hair, blue eyes, strong build. just kind of caught my eye. my partner asks why i’m staring like that so i tell her about the fantasy in my head, how i want to be this submissive thing with an older man and it would be him. she kinda looks at me sideways but we’re both drinking a lot so i go up to talk to him anyway. we exchange numbers and he asks if i’m into any of that kink stuff and honestly i just start spilling all my fantasies out without even thinking twice. he listens and seems pretty interested actually, then says he’d love to play but can’t tonight. not sure why really or what the deal was and it kind of kills the mood for me. now i feel weird around him, maybe he caught on that my partner isn’t down for all this stuff even though she’s cool with a lot else. now every time we go out and see him i just think about how much i want to approach again but am too scared. ended up telling her everything too so the cat's kind of outta the bag. how do you deal when your partner isn’t down for all this stuff and it’s affecting your whole relationship? i don’t know what to do anymore, feeling kinda lost.