feeling lost after breakup

hey i just ended things with my long time bf and havent really known what to do with myself. been working from home on some freelance stuff but it dont feel the same as before. last night i went out kinda hoping maybe we could fix it all, but he was clear it's done. came back drunk and decided to look up old porn for something to distract me. ended up watching a scene where a woman breaks down in tears after her boyfriend leaves her, then she has wild sex with another man right there. i know its just a fantasy, but the thought of someone else comforting me like that was kinda sexy, even though im not looking for anything right now. guess part of it is feeling abandoned myself and wanting some kind of connection again.