Post-Divorce... Revelations

I recently got separated from my wife and it’s been an emotional rollercoaster. We were together for nearly a decade before this all started happening. The truth is, I’ve always felt a bit out of place in our relationship, my head was often somewhere else, wandering off into the world of programming and tech. But one day… things changed. I met someone new, a software tester at my company who understood me on a level my wife never could. We started spending more time together... outside of work hours. It wasn’t just the passion in the bedroom, it was our connection, how well we talked about everything from code to movies. I told my wife eventually… but by then it was too late. She needed space and now I’m dealing with a whirlwind of emotions. How did I let this happen? Did I cheat on her or were we just living separate lives long before that? ...it’s all so confusing right now...