just some stuff

i was just thinking about my ex and how i felt like such a mess when we broke up. he always said he loved me but then did all this weird shit, you know? like one day hes into me totally and the next hes pulling away, saying hes confused or whatever. it made me feel so used sometimes...but then other times he would touch me in ways that just felt amazing, made me lose myself completely. its hard to understand why people do this stuff, i guess. we started dating when im twentyfive and things were great for a while but then the confusion set in. hes like eight years older than me too which is probably why all these issues came up. now hes out of my life and im still trying to figure everything out about myself again. feels weird being single after that long.