It Was All For The Best, Right?

I've been in an open relationship for a few years now. It was all about being honest and exploring our own paths while still loving each other. But there's this one thing I did that makes me feel really ashamed. About six months ago, when my girlfriend was busy with her art exhibition overseas, I decided to experiment with BDSM as part of an open relationship agreement we had talked about before but never actually tried out. She gave me the green light for a month-long exploration, and while she's not really into it herself, she thought it would be good for me to experience different things in life. So I started going on these online platforms where I met new people who were interested in power dynamics and dominance-submission roles. It was all consensual, but there's this one night that keeps haunting my mind. We agreed on a date with strict boundaries and safety checks beforehand. Everything seemed okay at first; we discussed our desires and limits over several conversations before meeting up. But as the evening went on, I found myself losing control in a way I hadn't planned for. The dynamic shifted from play to something darker, pushing beyond my set limits. I was supposed to be the submissive that night, but once we started, I took on more of a dominant role without realizing it at first. By the time I snapped back into myself, there were things said and done that went against what I truly wanted deep down. When she left afterwards, I felt this overwhelming guilt weighing me down. It wasn't my intention to take control like that or go beyond our agreed-upon limits, but sometimes, roles blur in unexpected ways. Was it really all for the best? I'm not sure anymore. The aftermath was tough on both of us; she needed time and space to understand how she felt about it, while I had to confront my own actions and feelings regarding power and control in intimate settings. Even though everything happened between consenting adults, something doesn't sit right with me deep down. Maybe what I'm trying to say is that sometimes, even when you think you're being open-minded, the lines can get very blurry indeed.