The Night I Took It Too Far After a Date

I recently got divorced after my husband cheated on me. I've been trying to get back into dating but nothing has clicked until now. Last week, I went out with a guy named Alex who seemed really nice and understanding about the whole situation. We had dinner, drinks, talked for hours - he was such a good listener and it felt like we connected well. But there was this tension between us that never really came to anything while we were on the date. I think he could tell I wasn't ready either but something must have happened later because after dropping me off at home, Alex sent me a text asking if I wanted to come over for coffee and maybe just watch some TV or something. I was tempted, but also nervous about moving too fast with someone new so soon. After a few texts back and forth, I decided to go over - mostly to get comfortable again in that space between friendship and something more. When I arrived, Alex had made us coffee, put on some soft music, and the whole place smelled amazing. We talked for a while longer before things got heated. We kissed at first, it was slow and tender but then it turned into this needy thing where neither of us could get enough air or control our hands. I wanted him so badly but kept pulling back, telling myself to wait, that we were going too fast. But Alex whispered something in my ear - can't remember the words exactly but it was like he said he knew how I felt about not wanting to rush this and promised me he'd go at whatever pace I needed. That made all my reservations fall away because suddenly there was no more waiting, no more tension - just us. We ended up making love that night, long and hard against the wall in his bedroom, then again on the bed for what felt like hours. I never knew I could be so desperate with someone or that it could feel so freeing after everything else. It was amazing but also scary to have opened myself up like this so quickly. So here's my confession - we're still seeing each other casually right now but I worry if I let him get too close, too soon again, whether it'll end badly for me this time around or if there could be something real and lasting after all of that.