The End of Something That Wasn't Really an End at All

So here I am, still figuring out my nonbinary identity and trying to navigate this weird space where everyone thinks you're in a constant state of transition. My ex, Alex (who's twenty-four), was pretty cool about it all, until he wasn't. We were together for two years, but over the last six months, things had shifted. I started exploring my sexuality more openly and experimenting with different kinks that felt right for me. Alex was into a lot of the same stuff: roleplay, bondage, some light impact play. But then it became clear that we were at different points in our journeys. The last straw came during one particularly intense night when I wanted to try something new, something I'd read about and thought would be fun. I proposed a scene involving CNC (consensual non-consent), where we both agreed it was all pretend, but I wanted the power dynamic to feel real for a moment. Alex seemed hesitant at first, then he agreed on one condition: that this would be our last time together. I thought about it and felt conflicted, did my desires lead us here? Was I pushing too hard for something that scared him, or was it just the end of what we had anyway? We ended up going through with the scene. It was intense, more so because there were real emotions tangled in our pretend scenario. Afterward, things felt off between us. The next day, Alex broke it off, saying he needed time to figure himself out too. But here’s what I’m struggling with: while I felt a bit guilty about pushing boundaries and potentially scaring him, I also feel like this was the end of something that had already started fading. So am I the asshole for trying new things when they didn't sit right with Alex? Or is it just that sometimes people drift apart, even if there's no clear bad guy in the story?