My Body's Betrayal

I just don't know how I ended up here. I've been married for years, and now that we're separated, everything feels different inside me. It’s like my body has its own mind, urging me to experience things it never did before. And yesterday... oh god, what happened was so unexpected. I was alone in the house, sitting on the couch trying not to think about him, and suddenly there it was, this overwhelming craving for something else. I don't know how I started, but next thing I knew, my fingers were inside me, exploring parts of myself I never touched before. It felt so strange yet incredibly pleasurable at the same time. Then things got really intense, I couldn't stop myself from imagining what it would be like with someone else’s hand or mouth down there instead of mine. The thought made me even wetter and more desperate, and my fingers couldn’t keep up with how much pressure and how fast I needed them moving inside me. I kept telling myself to slow down, but the images and sensations wouldn't let me. Eventually, it was just too much, everything went white for a moment as my body climaxed hard, harder than anything before. Afterward, all that remained was this sense of shock and fear. How could I have done something so... not like me? And yet part of me still wants to do it again, but with someone else involved this time. Am I broken? Sick? Just curious? What would you guys suggest?