A Professor's Secret Flirtation

I'm a forty-something professor with a long-term partner who doesn't share my interest in playful flirtations and role-play. We've been together for years, but lately, I've found myself drawn to the thrill of someone else's attention... A colleague of mine, Jack, started messaging me late at night. He knew about my kink, and we'd talk endlessly about it without crossing any real lines. But one day, he sent a picture that set something off in me... We agreed on a secret meeting, a playful role-play dinner where I got to be the flirtatious student... Afterwards, I felt so guilty, but also exhilarated... It's not like we're going to do it again, but sometimes... I can't help wondering what else there is out there for someone like me. It was just once... But it wasn't just flirting... We crossed a line and it felt wrong even as it happened. Now I'm torn between wanting more excitement and the fear of losing everything I have with my partner.