...My Secret Fetish...

I've been married to my wife for over twenty years now. We have an open relationship, but she doesn't share my specific fetish. It's not something I talk about often or bring up casually, it just happens when the moment feels right and we're both in a place where boundaries are stretched. It all started around five years into our marriage. We had been experimenting with various things and exploring different dynamics, but then one night, while watching a movie, she mentioned something about powerplay. It was just a passing comment, but it made me think. I had toyed with the idea before but never acted on it until that moment. I brought up my interest in CNC later... consensual non-consent roleplay specifically around scenarios of forced seduction and submission. She wasn't opposed to exploring it, we both agreed on safety words, limits, and the importance of trust and clear communication. But after a few times, she decided that aspect wasn't for her. That's where my secret began. For years now, I've been engaging in CNC with other partners... women who are willing participants but play along to specific role-play scenarios involving forceful romance and domination. I'm careful, always checking in on consent, making sure everything stays within the agreed-upon bounds. Sometimes after a session, I feel like an asshole for taking something my wife didn't want. Other times... well, it feels like cheating, even though there's never physical intimacy involved beyond what we both agree is acceptable beforehand. I've kept this to myself for so long because I don't know how to explain it or bring it up without worrying that I'm pushing past her boundaries. But writing this out makes me realize... maybe honesty really is the best policy, even when it feels like a heavy secret.