When My Partner and I Had Our First Kink Experiment Gone Wrong

So, it started about a month ago. My fiancé, Alex, had been hinting at trying some new things in the bedroom. We've known each other for years and have always had a great sex life, but lately, we both felt like we needed something different to spice things up. He mentioned that he had this fantasy about me being tied up and blindfolded. I wasn't sure if it was right for me at first, but Alex promised he would take his time and make sure everything was okay with me. He's always been very protective of my boundaries and consent in our relationship. So one night, we decided to try it out. We went over all the details before hand, safe words, limits, what I could expect. Alex is really good at that kind of stuff; he knows how important it is for us both to feel comfortable. The setup was perfect, a comfy bed with soft restraints and a blindfold. He had candles lit around the room, and some smooth jazz playing softly in the background. It felt safe, romantic even. Alex started off slow, massaging my back gently while I laid there feeling vulnerable but also strangely secure at the same time. He took his time exploring me, whispering how beautiful he thought I was, making sure to check in with me every few minutes. Then, as we progressed further into our playtime, things started getting a bit too intense for me. I felt like maybe my limits hadn't been fully communicated or respected; I don’t know if it was his eagerness to make the fantasy real that got us both off track. When I said ‘red’, he didn’t seem to hear it right away and kept going, which left me feeling hurt and betrayed. It's not like Alex would ever purposefully harm me or disregard my consent, but at that moment, it felt as though my safety was compromised. I stopped him and pulled out the blindfold when I couldn't handle the tension anymore. We both ended up just laying in silence for a while afterward, trying to sort through what had happened between us. It's been awkward since then, we tried talking about it but it’s hard when something like that shakes your foundation so much. Now every time he mentions another kink or fantasy, I feel myself getting tense all over again. I don't know if this is our problem or my issue with the idea of letting go and fully embracing this kind of intimacy, but for now, it feels impossible to move past what happened that night.