a little lie

i recently got divorced and it wasnt easy. ive been feeling so lost and just really struggling to get back on my feet. one day i went out for a coffee and saw this cute barista who caught my eye. we talked briefly but that moment felt like such a bright spot in an otherwise dark time. the next day, i returned and ordered the same thing again just hoping to see her. when she came over i told her i had been coming here every day since we met, which wasnt true. i only came back once. it made me feel sick to lie like that but i dont know why i did it. i guess sometimes even little things can make a difference, or at least thats what i tell myself.