...It Wasn't Like This Before...

I haven't felt this way in years. Ever since the divorce, I've been trying to hold on to who I was before all of this happened, but it's slipping away piece by piece. Last night, I met someone online, a stranger, really, and he said things that made me feel like a different person... or maybe more accurately, the person I used to be before my world crumbled. We agreed on meeting at a hotel and it was unlike anything since forever. His touch, his look, it all felt so familiar yet strange. We got into bed and started undressing each other slowly... every part of my body exposed, trembling with anticipation. And then it happened, I found myself craving something more than before, something raw and primal that I hadn't allowed myself to desire in a long time. It was overwhelming but incredibly freeing, like all the walls inside me just fell down. He entered me... it was hard and fast at first, then slow and tender as if he knew exactly what I needed from him. I couldn't help but moan out loud, admitting my deepest fantasies aloud to a stranger in an anonymous setting. It felt liberating yet terrifying all at once. Our bodies moved together in perfect rhythm... I climaxed harder than ever before with every touch and whisper. Every second was intense and electric, making me question everything about myself again. The aftermath left me feeling both vulnerable and alive. I'm not sure what to make of it now but writing this down helps... at least a little bit. ...