Caught in the Moment at an Adult Party

I met my partner, Alex, when we were both stationed near a small military base. We hit it off instantly, shared interests, similar backgrounds, and that connection between someone who understands military life can be hard to beat. But after three years of marriage, there's something missing. Last month, I attended an adult party hosted by friends in town. It was just friends, no strangers, nothing forced. The vibe was electric, people exploring their limits, enjoying each other without judgment. I found myself drawn to this intense energy, the freedom of it all. That night, something inside me broke free. I had been watching from afar as a group played out an explicit role-play scene in one corner of the room. There was something about how they were playing with power dynamics, dominance and submission, that spoke to me deeply. When I saw Alex arrive late to the party, I felt this weird tension, excitement mixed with guilt over my desires that he doesn't share. He had no idea what I wanted that night, only that he was there for a good time and some friendly company. But seeing him made me want more. I approached one of our friends who was part of the role-play scene and whispered my desire to join in but as myself, just an observer turned participant. She agreed immediately. As I entered the room where the role-play was happening, Alex saw me and came over. He watched as I took on a submissive role with another friend. There was this raw look in his eyes, mixed with disbelief and curiosity. It felt like I was stepping into a taboo world but with someone who could support my exploration. After we left the party, there was an unspoken tension between us. Alex asked if anything had happened that night, something I couldn't fully articulate or explain to him. We agreed to talk about it more when he's back from his deployment in two weeks. I'm torn, part of me wants to pursue this kink deeper with someone else, but another part wonders what would happen if Alex joined me for a session or role-played too. Am I being an asshole for keeping this secret until now? Would it be fairer to end the marriage rather than push him into something he's not ready for? What do you think, am I overthinking this or should I come clean and see where things go from there?