felt it today

so i was at work today and this one client, jill, she's been coming for a while now. she’s in her late twenties and we’ve chatted sometimes about how much we both love to sweat it out, get those endorphins going. but today something felt off. after my session with her, i walked into the locker room alone and suddenly all these memories hit me of how much i’ve let myself go since getting married. my thighs jiggle when i run now, there’s cellulite that wasn’t there before. it makes me feel old, not attractive anymore to anyone but a spouse who's also putting on weight. sitting in the steam room, i just felt so alone, thinking about how jill probably thinks of me as this married mom with flabby arms, nothing like the toned fit woman she used to be before life got in the way.