I’m a cheater

My partner (f) and I (m) have been together since high school (graduated 2017). I really do love her but ever since high school I have cheated on her. She trusts me and doesn’t suspect anything. I really have no reason to as I would say our relationship is really good…but I really can’t stop. Im addicted to the rush. I find it easier to just list out all the times I’ve cheated. - During high school i had a job and would regularly pickup hookers before going home. It was very cheap back then. This happened maybe 30-40 times over the years. (Roughly) -Also during high school I made a profile on a dating site and met a local girl. I would sneak into her room and she would let me cum in her. This person became my FWB and we would meetup other times outside of the morning visits. (Hot tubs, sleep overs, house sitting). We had sex over 30 times -From high school to adulthood I would also use Craigslist for hookups and hookers. 10-15 times. Hookups were risky and hookers we’re more expensive. Didn’t happen too often. -For work I would travel to Europe and I would visit the sex clubs and go to brothels. Prague was pretty cheap. - I solo travelled to Asia and picked up a street walker. Went to blowjob bars and basically cheated every night for my week long trip. -I discovered Gloryholes through Craigslist. My local adult shop had a theater and gloryholes. I don’t actually remember how I ended up at one but I got sucked in the hole and became kinda addicted.The cheapest possible way for a BJ. I think entry was 5$. Well over the years I still go. Yes, I know the risk and someone’s put on condoms but they usually end up off. (I someone’s just remove them, dumb I know. I did have two occasions where they were removed by the other person without me knowing). Today I browse Sniffies (insane website I came across. I would regularly only post on Reddit). There are three locally that I visit when the people are online. This count over the years is high. Maybe like 50ish. (I get tested in secret and I am clean.) Obviously my numbers aren’t super super exact but that’s my best estimate. My partner has no idea. I feel bad and go weeks without doing it from time to time but I always end up coming back to cheating.