Sneaking Into The Sweet Surrender Of A Secret Lover

Hey everyone, so I've been married for about twenty years now, settled down with kids and all the usual adult stuff. But there's something that happened last week that I feel like I need to get off my chest. It's not exactly the first time, but it's got me thinking... I've been having an affair on and off for a few months. And no, I didn't just meet some random stranger; this has been someone we both know since before marriage even came into play. We're both grown-ups though, so when things started heating up again recently, we made sure to stay discreet and respectful of boundaries. But last week, it got serious... She had me over at her place for a weekend getaway kind of thing, which was fantastic, but that's not the exciting part, okay, I guess it is exciting in one sense. Anyway, this particular night, we decided to take things to another level. The setup was pretty basic; just some soft lighting and our usual spot on her bed. We talked for a while about what each other liked... and then it turned into something more intense than usual. There were lots of hands all over, teasing and exploring every inch of skin. Kissing became breathless and desperate, tongues tangling as we both wanted to taste each other completely. Eventually, she whispered that tonight was different; this time, she wanted me inside her in a way I'd never been before. Her body arched up against mine eagerly... and yes, it was every bit as amazing as you're imagining right now. We were slick with sweat and panting loudly. It went on for what felt like forever but couldn't have been more than an hour, I swear time stopped when we both finally let go together. This isn't something I do lightly; it's just that there's this special connection between us, one she knows I can never completely have with my spouse anymore. But here’s the real question: am I being honest with myself about what this all means? Should I end things now and try to recommit fully to my marriage... or is it possible for these two halves of my life to remain separate? I feel like a kid sneaking behind their parents' back, but also like some part of me just doesn't want the fun to stop. What do you think?