Longing for What Once Was

I’m married now, with my 50s settling in. I met my wife when we were both young and we’ve been through so much together. But lately, I find myself thinking back to high school... no, wait, that’s not right. I mean the time before she came into my life. Before adulthood. It feels strange but sometimes, when we’re intimate now, it’s as if a part of me longs for something from those early days, before our paths crossed and responsibilities set in. I know it sounds contradictory because I adore her... yet these nostalgic fantasies about another girl back then, before anyone got hurt or complicated by real life stuff, keep surfacing. It doesn’t feel right to want that, but the way she looked at me with no expectations...