My Secret Kink Since The Breakup

I never thought I'd be someone who indulges in something like this, but since the breakup with my partner of ten years, I've found myself exploring a rather unusual kink. It all started innocently enough, browsing online and reading stories, but soon it wasn't just about the reading; I wanted to experience it for myself. Every night, I find myself locked in my office, the only place where I can be truly alone with my thoughts and desires. It's hard to admit even to myself, let alone anyone else. The thought of actually doing this terrifies me as much as it excites me. It feels wrong, like a betrayal to everything I've ever believed about relationships and intimacy. Yet there’s something so liberating in the act of breaking free from all my old constraints and embracing these new desires. I'm ashamed of how much I enjoy it, but also relieved that I’ve found this outlet to cope with everything else going on in my life right now.