Caught in a CNC Roleplay with My Spouse's Permission - Seeking Advice on Where to Draw the Line

So here I am, confessing something that's been weighing on my mind for weeks now. It started when I confided in my spouse about this weird kink of mine, playing out scenarios where I pretend to be a commanding officer in the military and they're the recruit who has to follow orders no matter what. Sounds kinky, right? They were initially skeptical but agreed to give it a try, knowing all along that everything would remain consensual. I thought we had a solid understanding: while I'm the one giving orders, my spouse was in control of their own choices and reactions. But things got complicated when they pushed back against some of the directions I gave them during our roleplay sessions, like asking me to be stricter or even pretend to punish them. That's not something I'd ever do for real, but playing along with this dynamic meant that it wasn't a literal punishment. Now here’s where things got tricky: there was an instance where my spouse wanted to escalate the scenario by pretending they had disobeyed orders and would face consequences like being forced to strip or submit in a way that I usually wouldn’t condone outside of our safe words. It felt intense, but again, it was all consensual and just for fun. So here’s what’s bugging me: how do we keep this from spilling over into real life? How much can you push the boundaries in CNC roleplay without it feeling like a breach of trust or confusing our actual relationship dynamics? Any advice on keeping things clear between us while still exploring these fantasies safely?