A Moment of Weakness

I've been in a steady relationship for years now, and everything has been going great. We're happy together, but there's this one thing that's bugging me. It started when I met a guy online who knew about my past as a man and found the transition attractive. One night, we decided to meet up at his place under the guise of just chatting, but it didn't stay platonic for long. We ended up engaging in rough sex, which was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. His hands were everywhere, exploring parts of my body that I rarely let anyone else touch. My new breasts, my soft skin, every inch of me felt exposed and vulnerable yet incredibly desired. There's something about being with someone who sees past the transition and into a different part of myself that was intoxicating. But it only happened once; afterwards, I felt disgusted with myself for betraying both our trust and my own values. Still, there’s this lingering feeling that maybe deep down, there's still some of me left in those memories from before.