Exploring My Fetish with a Partner Who Isn't into It Anymore

Hey there, everyone. So I’m 28 and have been in a committed relationship for three years now. We both started out pretty vanilla but eventually we explored some kinks together, mostly just light stuff like mild spanking and blindfolds. But about six months ago, something happened that really opened me up to an entirely new world of pleasure, I got into bondage. It all started when my girlfriend wanted to do a photo shoot with some props for fun. She had this black leather strap harness she’d bought online after seeing it on a kink-themed website. It was like nothing we’d ever seen together before, and something about the texture and weight of that leather really got me going. We decided to model ourselves as characters from an anime series we both loved, and in one shot, I suggested tying myself up with some rope she had handy just for the fun of it. That’s when I discovered how much I love being restrained, the feeling of surrender and total trust in her hands. It was electrifying, like all my nerves were amplified. From that day on, I couldn’t get enough. We experimented more with different levels of bondage, sometimes me as the one who was tied up, other times her if she felt playful too. The way it turns me on to be blindfolded and handcuffed to a bedpost while my girlfriend has total control over my pleasure is indescribable. But here’s the thing: I think our dynamics are shifting. She still wants to try new things but says she isn’t as into bondage as I am anymore. Lately, I find myself sneaking off alone and searching for ways to experience it with strangers online, just so I can indulge in my fantasies. It feels wrong, yet so right. Last night we tried something again after weeks of no bondage play, she agreed to tie me up but then got uncomfortable halfway through. She said she felt like the balance wasn’t there anymore, that maybe our roles had shifted and now it was one-sided. I’m torn, I feel guilty for wanting more than what she’s willing to give, yet can’t shake this new craving. So here’s my confession: is this normal? Am I being selfish pushing her further when we both need different things right now? Should I just accept that maybe our relationship won’t include my fetish any longer or seek out other outlets outside of it? Your thoughts are appreciated.