My Secret Crush Made Me Feel Like A Whore

I have this secret crush on my friend’s older brother, who's in his late 20s... We got wasted last weekend and he ended up in my room. It felt like a fever dream, he was rough but in a way that made me melt... I whispered to him that I wanted him to treat me however he pleased... We didn't even talk about it afterward, just slipped back into our usual roles like nothing happened....