When I Needed Something Different

I’ve been married for almost two decades now and we have this great life together. We’re happy and comfortable in every way you can imagine. But lately, I’ve had these strange urges that make me feel like an outsider in my own marriage. There’s this kink involving roleplaying as a submissive to a dominant partner, not something he’s interested in exploring. It started small, just thoughts, but now they’re haunting me. I’m terrified of what it means about me and our relationship. What if there’s no way to fix this? Or worse, what if the only way is to admit things that could break us apart? I don’t know how to talk about any of this without sounding crazy or like I want something he can’t give. Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering why my mind wanders into these dark corners when everything around me is so bright and good.