The Lie That Followed Me Home

I recently ended a relationship with my girlfriend, and I want to confess something petty that's been weighing on me. We broke up mostly because she wanted more commitment than I was ready for, but it wasn't an explosive breakup, we talked it out, said our goodbyes, and left things amicably. Or so I thought. During the week after we split, I got a call from one of her friends who was checking in on her behalf. She asked how I was doing and mentioned that my girlfriend had been talking about me, but she didn't elaborate much beyond that. I appreciated the concern but felt something niggling at me. The next day, while driving home from work, I stopped at a gas station to pick up some snacks for the week. At checkout, the cashier was one of my ex's old coworkers who had moved away years ago and whom I hadn't seen in a long time. She mentioned how well my girlfriend seemed to be handling our breakup and how she hoped things worked out between us. It bothered me because at that moment, I knew the truth, I had lied to my girlfriend about visiting an old friend during our last weekend together when really, I was just hanging around town, thinking. She found a picture of me in front of the old coffee shop we both loved and confronted me with it. I didn't have a great excuse, so I fibbed and told her I'd planned to meet up with someone there, even though no one was actually going to be there that day. In retrospect, this lie seemed petty at best, our relationship issues weren't about where I spent my time or who I hung out with; they were more philosophical and abstract. But now, weeks later, the small act of dishonesty feels like it's following me around. Every time someone asks how she’s doing, I worry I’ll slip up and say something that reveals my lie, because lying to her felt so trivial when we both knew our issues ran deeper than a simple meet-up in front of an old cafe. It wasn't about the coffee shop or meeting friends; it was about commitment, but the little fib still sits heavily on me.